How to Feed a Lawyer (and Other Irreverent Observations from the Legal Underground)

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March 29, 2004


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Notably absent amongst the trial lawyers from Hell hanging in the White House is this guy. Asked why this legal thorn in the side of big business and big government will be spared the flames of Hell, the spokesman who looks like Karl Rove said, "He's the only trial lawyer we've ever had any use for."

David Giacalone

The Vatican confirmed a couple years ago that Hell was probably not actually a place, but more like a State of Mind -- your own personal hell, so to speak. Imagine Shrub spending eternity in a small room filled with p/i lawyers, a tough grammar teacher, and Molly Ivins.


There doesn't seem to be a need for a new circle, as Circle 8 would do just fine.


Ted: So now you're a theologian? You do get points for knowing your Dante, though.

    Circle Eight - The Fraudulent

    Bowge (Trench) I. Panderers and Seducers
    Bowge II. Flatterers
    Bowge III. Simoniacs
    Bowge IV. Sorcerers
    Bowge V. Barrators
    Bowge VI. Hypocrites
    Bowge VII. Thieves
    Bowge VIII. Counselors
    Bowge IX. Sowers of Discord
    Bowge X. Falsifiers

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