The Money Shot: Joe Simon, Mass-Tort Lawyer

Here it is, finally, what everyone has been clamoring for--an actual photo of a lawyer earning a living. Specifically, you're looking at Joe Simon, a St. Louis lawyer who's busy on a telephone headset explaining to a client why it makes sense for her to opt out of the 7th Amendment to the national fen-phen settlement agreement. Note the look of concentration on Joe's face: he's got to concentrate, to make sure he doesn't become confused by the blizzard of paper on his desk.

It's the bane of every mass-tort lawyer--too much paper. But Joe's got it handled. And if you would like to talk to him about mass torts--or, more specifically, about the 7th Amendment to the fen-phen settlement agreement--you can reach him at (314) 725-7700.

(A Concluding Note from Your Weblog Author, Evan Schaeffer: Thanks to Joe Simon for posing for the inaugural installment of my new feature, The Money Shot. If you're a lawyer who has to work for a living, you can appear here too. Just send a photo and an e-mail and I'll add you to the queue. Or you can simply smile in my direction when I pull out my digital camera and point it at your face. You never know when it might happen!)

Comments

[Jeremy Richey]

Evan,

I don't believe this is a real picture. I have been told by the television that mass-tort lawyers are evil. If this was a real picture, I would expect to see red horns and a red tail on the lawyer. I would also expect the smell of Hell to somehow get into the room where I am sitting. There are also no demons in the picture. What would the devil be without demons? On the other hand, maybe this fellow is just a demon and not the devil. But he doesn't look like a demon either. He looks like an all-American fellow. Clearly this is a fake picture taken in the back office of the local Kinkos.

Sincerely,
The Truth Hound

[Evan]

Jeremy: You might be on to something. After I posted this, I realized that ever since Vioxx was pulled off the market a few weeks ago, every lawyer is thinking that he or she might be a mass-tort lawyer. It's not true! While some of these lawyers just might be devils or demons, real mass-tort lawyers (who actually know how to help people) never have horns, tails, scaly red skin, etc. Joe Simon, who I've known for quite awhile, is a real mass-tort lawyer.

As for lawyers in hell, I believe I once did a post about that: Yes, it's right here.

[Joe's Boss]

Who says that "pictures don't lie"!! If you look at the picture of Joe Simon, it appears as if Joe is actually working. As Joe's boss, and as anyone who has ever worked with Joe can tell you, Joe Simon has never put in an honest day's work his entire life.

[Evan]

To Joe's Boss: I happen to know you very well--well enough to know that you're teasing about Joe. At least, I'm pretty sure you are. I say this because I frequently observe Joe working quite hard. Please refrain in the future from commenting on real people you know, since you might scare off otherwise willing participants in my "Money Shot" feature. And that would be a bad thing.

[Johnny Thompson]

I have been sick for the last 5 years with Black Lung due to my working in the coal mines in the past.
The last Month i have been on lfe support for my lungs and now i am on full time oxygen and the doctor does not give me a very good chance of making it.
I need help finding a attorney to handel my Black Lung case.
Any help will be appreciated.
Tanks in advance
Johnny thompson

[Linzey]

Devil? Demons? True they have distinct appearances so it is reasonable to assume that Joe Simon is not the Devil, or even a Demon. He is clearly the Anti-Christ. Only the Anti-Christ would have the guts to wear that shirt. Because if you mock him, he will kill you. Pure evil wearing a headset...