A New Way of Dealing With Comment Spam

Comment Spam n. 1. A fake weblog comment containing an embedded link to a website featuring a worthless product or service. 2. A royal pain in the ass for weblog authors. 3. What Satan coughs up when he pukes.

I tried organizing against the comment spammers. I tried shaming them. I tried ignoring them. But the other day, for the first time, I tried an entirely new approach: I deleted the comment spam but invited the comment spammer, via e-mail, to send me the product he was hawking for free. I told him I might like it, which might lead me to post about it. And wouldn't this be better, in the end, than simply leaving a link?

I was a little surprised that it worked. But yesterday, the product arrived in the mail with a nice note. Is it because the marketing-savvy are catching on to the value of weblogs, as I read in Fortune magazine? Or is it because the comment spammer I'd caught was a rank amateur who didn't know any better? After all, he had a web address in the U.S. and left an e-mail address that worked.

Perhaps it was a fluke, but I'm going to try it again. As for the product that arrived in the mail, I won't tie it to the stigma of comment spam by identifying it here. I can tell you, however, that it didn't fall into the class of one of the fourteen other products or services that have mucked up this weblog in the past few months, as follows: auto insurance, Vioxx representation, pay-to-surf programs, debt consolidation, online dating, online gambling, credit checks, asbestos representation, rape stories, cheap blinds, propolene diet pills, discount cigarettes, dental plans, and phentermine.

Internet puke, indeed.

Comments

[Jeffrey A. Cross]

Comment spam to my site got so bad I just turned off the comments feature. I'm going to turn it back on sometime in January and see what happens.

I enjoy your site quite a bit. Being a lawyer myself, I find your humor and take on things very interesting. Keep up the good work!

[Evan]

Jeffrey: Thanks. I like the photos on your weblog. I need more photos.

[Kevin]

Evan, are you trying to optimize your site for higher ranking for auto insurance, Vioxx representation, pay-to-surf programs, debt consolidation, online dating, online gambling, credit checks, asbestos representation, rape stories, cheap blinds, propolene diet pills, discount cigarettes, dental plans, and phentermine?

I mean because then you'll probably get more comment spam and more free product.

I, on the other hand, have people coming looking for sex videos and jenna jameson. I could do with a few spammers.

[-Dave!]

That is a good idea, but I don't want anyone sending me free samples of "the Mexican viagra" "phetrimine" or "texas hold 'em". :)

[David Giacalone]

According to my Referer List, I have had well over one hundred hits today concerning viagra, cialis and soma. Sure does help bump up my numbers, but I've never been a consumer who wants to buy a product from a Seller who annoys me or insults my intelligence.

I wonder how Andrea feels about you asking for cialis freebies. Let us know if the "more than four hour" warning applies.

[Abnu]

The spambots must just be killing themselves at the irony of this comment thread. Please leave it up for the enjoyment of the blogosphere.