Bling Bling for Wealthy Lawyers: High Class Call Girls

Before you get all irritated at me for exposing the dark side of the legal profession, keep this in mind: Those wealthy lawyers you see all the time with those high-class call girls? I happen to know they're between wives. And lonely. And merely seeking some companionship.

Knowing that, do you really want to be the first to throw stones? I didn't think so. Of course, sometimes the wealthy lawyers are merely out of town, but hey--how do you expect a wealthy lawyer to get any mileage out of his $61,000 Patek Philippe watch if he doesn't have some cute young thing on his arm to appreciate it?

See how that works? I thought you would.

If you've stuck with me this far, I know what you're really wondering: How much do the high-class call girls cost? I happen to know they're not cheap. Not only is there the hourly fee, which in itself can be very steep, but you've also got to take them shoe-shopping. Who said love was easy?

If you're a wealthy lawyer who's overwhelmed by the call-girl scene, don't despair: there are also sports cars, watches,  big-ass yachts, and mansions nestled along the coast of Southern California. And stay tuned for the next post in the bling-bling series: professional sports teams.

Comments

[Ted]

Don't know how you can write that post without mentioning the Stanford Law call girl who seems to have done well for herself.

[Scott]

I was expecting so much more...

[Evan]

Scott: So was I, to tell you the truth. But when I began to link to actual high-class call girls from within the post, I became concerned that some of my less-well-protected readers might get a virus, if you know what I mean. So that got cut.

Ted: If you're looking for a high-class call girl, you can do better than to get one with a law degree. She'll ask why you aren't back at your desk, polishing up your answer to that third amended complaint those plaintiffs' lawyers just filed. "And don't forget the constitutional defenses to punitive damages," she'd add, smirking since you forget them last time.

Everyone has different tastes, but it seems to me that that would be no fun at all.

[Abnu]

Evan, I thought you might post some kind of bodcast featuring Belle de Jour, a "high class call girl" who anonymously blogged her way to a book deal. It would be interesting if you could garner an interview with Belle to find out if she's perhaps a former solicitor who turned to soliciting because there were just some things she would not do with her mouth for money.

[Moral Turpitude]

Weird. Isn't it just better to get one of those lawyers with all the extra money to spend to marry you? Then at least you could host dinner parties. No one wants to go to a dinner party hosted by a call girl. Herpes in the truffle mousse and such.

[Prof. Yabut]

Seems to me that hourly billing is far too inefficient and does not capture the actual value given by the service provider to the service recipient -- let's face it, it's not all quality time. If ever there were reason for Value(s) Billing, this is it. As Matt might ask: "Just what is it worth to you to feel this good and have the security of knowing your wife will never know?"

[Abnu]

Meanwhile, in England, while we're on the topic of lawyers and call girls...

Lawyer Christine Wheatley, from Birmingham, was one of seven candidates short-listed to replace retiring parliamentarian Dr Jack Cunningham at the next General Election.

But she has been dropped after revealing to a reporter from The Whitehaven News that she worked as a “licensed call girl” in Paris.

Ms Wheatley described herself as a “tart” and said: “It was the Seventies and I was a delightful young woman around town.”

Really, it's hard to reconcile how being a "licensed call girl" should be an impediment to a political career, but not disqualify a whore from becoming a lawyer. There must be some higher moral standard for politicians than for lawyers.

[Rufus]

Abnu, I agree. ESpecially in light of the fact that "whore" is part of the job description for both lawyer and politician.

[Abnu]

Okay, let's not beat around the bush. I found a fee schedule that looks reasonable, all things considered.

6hrs 2,500 CAD 2,000 USD
12hrs 4,000 CAD 3,200 USD
1 Day 6,000 CAD 4,800 USD

Travel expenses (i.e. airfare) are in addition to these rates.

There's a note to the fee schedule that explains the value proposition in terms wealthy lawyers might appreciate: "The experience that I provide is of exceptional quality and my rates are a reflection of this excellence."