JUST DON'T CALL THEM "PIT BULLS" . . . At f/k/a, David Giacalone weighs in on the decision by the Florida Supreme Court to discipline two lawyers for comparing themselves to pit bulls in their advertising:

When will the profession see that it will earn the respect of the public through the personal integrity of lawyers and the provision of quality services for reasonable fees -- not through some phony notion of "dignity" or by treating the public like children?

Indeed. On the other hand, this case of metaphor-gone-too-far reminds us how dangerous figures of speech can be if handled by those who lack the proper training. As an English major, I wasn't fooled into thinking that those Florida lawyers were really going to chew out the throats of their opponents. But what would an ordinary member of the public think? When you keep in mind that ordinary members of the public are generally untrained in the use of metaphor, you see things in a new light. Thank you, Florida Supreme Court! It's why at my firm, Schaeffer & Lamere, we're using the court's decision to rethink our entire "raging rooster" ad campaign. At two years in the development, that's a lot of photoshopping down the drain. But it's the price you pay for pledging not to use metaphor irresponsibly.

What's the next animal metaphor under consideration at the firm? Pack mules. Nothing inappropriate about pack mules.

Related post: "Note to Lawyers Who Advertise: Don't Compare Yourselves to Animals."

Comments

[David Giacalone]

Evan, I'm currently, reading Cormac McCarthy's "The Crossing", and pack mules seem a bit unreliable.

Do you think bald eagles are still appropriate? They're not much kinder than pit bulls. Now that he's been retired by the Forest Service. could a defense firm use Smokey the Bear? Nix, Smokey, wouldn't want to suggest your firm uses a hose or a shovel on anybody.

I don't know about metaphors, but we fans of onomastics can savor the fact that the author of the FBA v. Pape & Chandler is Chief Justice Barbara Pariente. When it comes to judges, she's about as paternal and parental as they get.

[Evan]

I'm afraid someone else got to bald eagles first.

[George]

Lions have also been taken.

[Aaron]

There's a Michigan firm which uses a lot of Bison in its ads.... I'll leave it to others to explain what that might mean. No - on second thought, I'll throw in a gratuitous interpretation - perhaps it means "When the chips are down, you can count on us"?

(What about these guys? Would it depend upon whether their Supreme Court has a sense of humor?)

[Dave Swanner]

I think I've officially been a lawyer too long. I was thinking that I find pit bull offensive, but bull dog would be okay. The impression of pit bulls is that they attack and maul, but bull dogs hang on and just don't let go.

Ah well. I didn't see anyone standing up for small white fluffy terriers.

[mythago]

As an English major, I wasn't fooled into thinking that those Florida lawyers were really going to chew out the throats of their opponents.

Of course they wouldn't. Only Los Angeles lawyers do that.

[Aaron]

How about a fistfull of dollars?