LAWYER STUFF: LASIK Eye Surgery . . . Are you a lawyer whose eyes were ruined by law school? Then perhaps you need this--
It's LASIK eye surgery. Practically every lawyer is doing it. Using a space-age laser beam, the refractive errors in your eyes can be corrected by simply vaporizing them away. Not only will you be able to see better, but you'll be able to get rid of those glasses that made you look like such a dork. The only downside is that you'll still be a lawyer.*
*Risks of LASIK eye surgery include loss of vision, anisometropia, epithelial ingrowth, flap melt, aniseikonia, double vision, hazy vision, fluctuating vision, glare and haloes, undercorrected or overcorrected vision, dry eyes requiring use of punctum plugs to reduce tear drainage, corneal ulcer formation, endothelial cell loss, ptosis, and much, much more.