What does a visitor to the Madison County fair in Highland, Illinois, normally see? Tractor pulls, 4H projects, prize cows and chickens--that sort of thing. This year, however, an article in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch alerted readers that the fair would also include . . . yuck, tort reformers.
The article said that both the Illinois Chamber of Commerce and Illinois Lawsuit Abuse Watch (I-Law) were going to set up booths. It seemed troublesome to me, since one of the organizations' purposes is to make potential jurors skeptical about anyone who sues for an injury. So Andrea and I headed over to the fair yesterday, hoping to do some investigative work. My plan was to collect the literature the groups were distributing for my "jury selection" file. (In selecting a jury for trial, lawyers are allowed to ask questions about tort reform and the potential jurors' exposure to groups like the two at the fair.)
Our undercover work was largely uneventful, mostly because I wasn't in the mood for any Michael-Moore-style questioning. The guy staffing the Chamber of Commerce booth gave us a brochure about "Sharks in Illinois," some no-shark stickers, and a cute little rubber shark that was supposed to remind us of the dangers of "predatory trial lawyers." The neighboring I-Law booth featured large posters with information I knew to be false, but I couldn't complain because there was no one staffing the booth. I took an I-Law brochure about choosing a lawyer, which contained more false information about personal injury cases. Any unsuspecting citizens unlucky enough to use the I-Law brochure as a guide will be seriously misinformed about their rights. But maybe that's I-Law's intent. Another brochure recommended that citizens "help fight lawsuit abuse" by making sure to "serve on a jury." Do you think that anyone brainwashed by I-Law would be open-minded enough for jury service?
After getting our fill of tort reform, Andrea and I looked at some cows and ate some funnel cake. Then we returned home, where I later found myself growing quite fond of the little rubber shark. I decided to use it as a paperweight. I tested my plan on our new baby, Sam, who didn't like it--here's a photo of him, getting attacked.
I'd say the shark is protecting Baby Sam (or, maybe, needs protection from Baby Sam Schaeffer).
Posted by: David Giacalone | July 26, 2004 at 10:51 AM
David: I know Baby Sam looks huge compared to the shark, but you have to keep in mind that (a) the shark is a very mobile fish, but Sam (at only 9 weeks) can't roll over on top of it, or even move enough to shake it off; (b) the shark has very sharp teeth, but Sam has no teeth at all; (c) the shark (though the picture doesn't show it) is smiling, which might lull Sam into a false sense of security, making him think the shark is bearing milk. Milk is really all Sam cares about. So while the picture might make it appear that it wouldn't be much of a fight, Sam is really quite the underdog. (Underbaby?)
Posted by: Evan | July 26, 2004 at 01:26 PM
Well, well! In describing the shark you perfectly describe a trial lawyer. Let's look at the elements.
(a) the shark is a very mobile fish
Willie Gary can go anywhere on Wings of Justice II. The tobacco lawyers were also famous for flying in their Lear jets.
(b) the shark has very sharp teeth, but Sam has no teeth at all
Trial lawyers' teeth cut the economy to shreds.
(c) the shark (though the picture doesn't show it) is smiling
Trial lawyers are also always smiling, and they have much to be happy about - lining their pockets and cheating honest companies.
Posted by: Fed No. 84 | July 26, 2004 at 01:55 PM
Fed No. 84: Damn! I think you might be right. Maybe that's why the Chamber of Commerce gave me the cute little rubber shark. But how do explain the fact that in addition to attacking babies, it will also work as a paperweight?
Posted by: Evan | July 26, 2004 at 02:08 PM
Our group, Victims and Families United, has challenged the tort reformers to a public debate in Madison County - and they've refused!
Apparently they're not comfortable going beyond staged town hall meetings and booths at the county fair.
The tort reformers made "lawsuit abuse" and medical malpractice issues in the Metro-East, so they owe the public a fair debate on the issues, don't they??
Write Ed Murnane, President of the IL Civil Justice League, and demand that he agree to a fair public debate on the issues. Here's Ed's e-mail address: emurnane@icjl.org.
Doug Wojcieszak
Posted by: Doug Wojcieszak | July 26, 2004 at 02:34 PM
Only a trial lawyer would consider serving as a paperweight to be "work" -- while demanding one-third of whatever you've got to do it!!
p.s. This is the number that I was just given to prove I'm not an automated robot: "y y y zen." haikuEsq is serendipitously impressed.
Posted by: David Giacalone | July 26, 2004 at 02:36 PM