How to Feed a Lawyer (and Other Irreverent Observations from the Legal Underground)

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David Giacalone

I'd say the shark is protecting Baby Sam (or, maybe, needs protection from Baby Sam Schaeffer).


David: I know Baby Sam looks huge compared to the shark, but you have to keep in mind that (a) the shark is a very mobile fish, but Sam (at only 9 weeks) can't roll over on top of it, or even move enough to shake it off; (b) the shark has very sharp teeth, but Sam has no teeth at all; (c) the shark (though the picture doesn't show it) is smiling, which might lull Sam into a false sense of security, making him think the shark is bearing milk. Milk is really all Sam cares about. So while the picture might make it appear that it wouldn't be much of a fight, Sam is really quite the underdog. (Underbaby?)

Fed No. 84

Well, well! In describing the shark you perfectly describe a trial lawyer. Let's look at the elements.

(a) the shark is a very mobile fish

Willie Gary can go anywhere on Wings of Justice II. The tobacco lawyers were also famous for flying in their Lear jets.

(b) the shark has very sharp teeth, but Sam has no teeth at all

Trial lawyers' teeth cut the economy to shreds.

(c) the shark (though the picture doesn't show it) is smiling

Trial lawyers are also always smiling, and they have much to be happy about - lining their pockets and cheating honest companies.


Fed No. 84: Damn! I think you might be right. Maybe that's why the Chamber of Commerce gave me the cute little rubber shark. But how do explain the fact that in addition to attacking babies, it will also work as a paperweight?

Doug Wojcieszak

Our group, Victims and Families United, has challenged the tort reformers to a public debate in Madison County - and they've refused!

Apparently they're not comfortable going beyond staged town hall meetings and booths at the county fair.

The tort reformers made "lawsuit abuse" and medical malpractice issues in the Metro-East, so they owe the public a fair debate on the issues, don't they??

Write Ed Murnane, President of the IL Civil Justice League, and demand that he agree to a fair public debate on the issues. Here's Ed's e-mail address: emurnane@icjl.org.

Doug Wojcieszak

David Giacalone

Only a trial lawyer would consider serving as a paperweight to be "work" -- while demanding one-third of whatever you've got to do it!!

p.s. This is the number that I was just given to prove I'm not an automated robot: "y y y zen." haikuEsq is serendipitously impressed.

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