Derogatory Names for Lawyers, Part Two

It so happens that I know a number of derogatory names for lawyers, and many of them are what your sixth-grade English teacher called "proper nouns." Rather than sharing them with you, which might subject me to legal liability, I'll just continue with Bryan Garner's list:

Ambidexter An unscrupulous lawyer who takes fees (or sometimes bribes) "with both hands," that is, from both sides of a controversy.

Dump Truck A public defender. E.g., "Clients often refer to their public defenders as 'dump trucks,' a term that apparently derives from the defendant's belief that defenders are not interested in giving a vigorous defense, but rather seek only to 'dump' them as quickly as possible."

Horse Lawyer A lawyer of little ability.

Silk-Stocking Lawyer A patrician lawyer. E.g., "Do you want ivory tower, silk stocking lawyers defending these people?" the house speaker shouted at him. Mr. Parker replied, 'That's better than no lawyer at all.'"

The preceding terms were quoted directly from Garner's A Dictionary of Modern Legal Usage. I get credit only for typing. For a related post that Garner also helped me write, see Derogatory Names for Lawyers, Part One.

Note: If you are a fan of derogatory names for lawyers, then you'll love my book How to Feed a Lawyer (and Other Irreverent Observations from the Legal Underground), available at Amazon.

Comments

[david giacalone]

New York Pro Bono Lawyer: A lawyer who expects to be canonized as a saint for such selfless acts as (a) lobbying to keep his contingency fees as high as possible; (b) charging a non-rich client slightly less than his purported hourly fee; or (c) writing off unrecoverable accounts receivable.

Law Professor: A lawyer who couldn't, wouldn't, or shouldn't practice law.

[bridget]

Liar - Surely implies the speaker is Mattlock.

[Cloud]

In my experience the law professor's are actually the lawyers who are too intelligent to get caught up in the petty politics of practicing law. In law, they say the C students practice, the B students are judges and the A students teach the art.