Prague Blog #4: In Which I Describe a Night of Bar-Hopping

The photos in the last post were taken during the trip Lanny and I made last night to Old Town Square after settling in at our hotel. We went there without much of a plan, so I really had no idea what I was photographing. If you were expecting some high-quality travel-writing from me, you were expecting too much.

Lanny, whose Blackberry was souped-up for our trip and is working just fine, managed to visit eight bars and a restaurant with me last night. (Meanwhile, he also managed somehow to punch out a demand letter on those little keys. He's a hard-working plaintiffs' lawyer, that's for sure!)

Our first bar was in the hotel lobby, and from there we took a cab to the square.  We walked around and then went to a sort of modern bar where everyone was wearing black. As it turned out, all the bars in the Old Town section were modern bars where everyone was wearing black. We went to a second place called the "Aloha" where we asked for a "traditional Czech drink" and were served a "Mojito," which tasted like a Mint Julep. As all good drinkers know, however, a Mojito is not a Czech drink--it's Cuban. But it's apparently all the rage here in the Czech Republic.

Next, we ate dinner at Kolkovna, which claimed to serve traditional Czech food. It actually did, I think. I ordered the "Traditional Czech Platter" for 309 crowns or about $15. As the menu described it, it contained "1/4 roast duck, 'Moravian Sparrow' roast marbled pork, smoked meat, beer saugage, white and red cabbage, bread, potato and bacon dumplings, 1/4 Bauemente, Mahrischer Spatz, Schweinefleisch-wurfel, Raucherflesich, and Bierwurst." It was pretty good, but it made me laugh to think what my kids would have said about it.

Next, we went to another bar in Old Town where the bartender taught me to say "thank you" in Czech, which sounds like "dick-we." After that, we took a cab back to the hotel because we thought we should try to find some dive bars. We found some, but they were all of the variety where the doors are locked, you ring a buzzer, and then someone lets you in if they think you look all right. So we started ringing buzzers.

The big difference about the bars away from the center of town, we learned, is that no one speaks English. The first one was filled with a bunch of non-Czech-looking people who looked like they were playing poker. We rang the buzzer and some guy said "English???" a bunch of times, then let us in. I don't think he was asking if we spoke English; I think he was asking if we were English. Lanny and I got a beer, and then an argument broke out among the female bartender, a shady-looking guy from the back, and the guy who had let us in. I wasn't watching, but Lanny swore they were arguing about us and wanted to leave, so we did. (He'd put away his Blackberry by this time, the better to watch my back.) The door was locked on the way out and I had to go back inside to retrieve the guy who'd let us in, who we decided was some sort of mentally-challenged cousin who had gotten in trouble for not properly tending to the door. He let us out and tried to talk to us on the street. All we were able to figure out is that inside the bar, they were all Iraqis. I don't know why they would have been arguing about us but Lanny, who'd been getting bad vibes, was glad to leave.

The next place also had a lock and there were only about five people inside. Lanny and I got a beer. The entire place was painted black and there were sofas all over. We sat down then noticed there was a pole in the middle of the room, as if it were a strip joint. There weren't any strippers though. It was just a lonely pole. Again, there wasn't any English being spoken, but everyone left us alone.

According to the guidebooks, it's pretty safe everywhere in Prague, so you don't need to worry about Lanny and I getting into too much trouble. Although both of us packed a sports coat in case there were any formal charges brought against us that would need to be answered, I don't think we'll be attending any arraignments. At least, not our own--we do plan to find a courthouse, if possible, and see if we can sit in on something or other. We'll be asking our tour guide (provided for one day by the company that set up our travel package) about that today.

Comments

[Jim]

It must have been a long night of bar hopping, since you skipped from Prague Blog # 3 to Prague Blog #5 and made a reference to "reb" cabbage. I thought at first that someone might be flying the rebel flag there in Prague like I sometimes see along the rural roads here in Alabama. But those folks don't like cabbage.

Too bad you're not paying for editors anymore. Your vacation might be profiting a more local economy, too.

[RawLaw]

Dear Dad,

Mom said you are going to die if you eat all that meat. Put it down right now and find some Czech vegetables, like moravian pigeon dumplings or bierwurst with sauerkraut.

Love,
Kids

[Evan]

Jim: Yes, it was an extremely long night of bar-hopping. Even worse, the editor-in-chief of this weblog (that is, Andrea) isn't with me, and her ability to proofread my posts is being hampered by the seven-hour time difference. I fixed the problems you noted. Thanks for your input, but don't be surprised by lots of other typos in the next few days.

[OLS]

Do you like jazz? If so, you should really check out some of the jazz clubs in Prague - most of them are not far from the Old Town Square.

Or just hang around the Charles Bridge on sunset - there was usually a quartet playing when I was there (which was a pretty decent effort since it was the middle of winter and the fingers must have been frozen to the bone!)

- OLS

[Steve]

Evan, I just got done reading another damn spy novel mostly set in Eastern Europe and the photos and descriptions make me think you're working deep cover. Who do you really work for?

I used to know a lot of Czech swear words because my mom worked in a nursing home filled with mostly 80 year old Czech immigrants when I was in high school. If I think of any, I'll let you know.

[Evan]

OLS: Before I left, I printed your comment to this post, where you left me some suggestions for the trip. I'm trying to do as many of those things as possible. Thanks again for the help!

[OLS]

Oh yeah, I'd forgotten all about that! Just goes to show that my advice doesn't change much over time... ;o)

- OLS

[hotels in prague]

I already viewed all your blogs and I enjoyed viewing it.
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[Acai Berry]

It sounds like you had a really amazing time! I love going around like that and having a good time. Hope to hear more.