How to Feed a Lawyer (and Other Irreverent Observations from the Legal Underground)

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I told the local Ponderosa that I was a litigator with ten years of experience, but they said they were only hiring lawyers with transactional experience.



Your advice would ring truer if you hadn't neglected to mention (out of modesty, I'm sure) that other applicable part of your experience from high school days - robbing convenience stores...


I never made it past prep-cook at Lone Star Steakhouse in Greensboro. I did have the occasional opportunity to fill in for the tumbleweed fry guy when he was too hungover to show up.

I disagree with Evan. Mr. Bitter, you should not limit yourself to becoming a chef. Everyone knows the real money at the steakhouse is in the prep meat cutter position.


I actually worked at a Ponderosa steakhouse in St. Louis for 7 years. After starting out as a lowly "dishpig", I worked my way up to "fry cook" (i.e., the guy who is responsible for the baked potatoes, rolls, and other scut work for the "broiler cook") after 3 months. For the unitiated, the broiler cook is at the very top of Ponderosa food chain. He cooks the steaks, and is the guy the salad bar girls fawn over. The girl-guy ratio at Ponderosa back then was about 7-1, so it was the only time in my life where females actually hit on me (of course, I was the all-powerful broiler cook). Alas, those truly were my salad days.


How did the questioner get to be five years older in one week?


MM: That can sometimes happen with online personalities. In this case, however, it didn't happen. In the comment the questioner left on this website last week, he said he was "approximately 40." Everyone knows that "approximately 40" means "I'm really 45." So in editing process, I removed the ambiguity. Get it?

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