How to Feed a Lawyer (and Other Irreverent Observations from the Legal Underground)

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I think I heard on the news that the guy was lying and actually put it in there on purpose so he could sue(I could be wrong). Funny what people will do for money.

Could the restuarant that he did this at sue him? For Defamation maybe? It seems there should be some kind of punishment for this kind of behavior.


It seems there should be some kind of punishment for this kind of behavior.

Look, here's the part of the USA Today story that Chad didn't bother to read before offering his opinion:

Unlike a recent incident at a Wendy's restaurant in California, no questions about Stowers' honesty have been raised.

Officials of the state departments of agriculture and labor went to the shop to investigate Monday, and the shop's owner confirmed that one of his employees lost part of a finger in an accident with a food-processing machine.

Of course, Chad would be the first to point out that he said he warned us: (I could be wrong). On the facts of this case, Chad is wrong, to the point of being so obviously full of shit. Of course, that doesn't stop him from accusing the victim and expressing an opinion that there should be some kind of punishment for this kind of behavior.

Chad, you're entitled to your own opinions; you aren't entitled to your own facts.


Abnu: Chad is probably confusing the incident with the one at Wendy's. I did say "another incident," but if Chad wants to blame the author of the weblog for being unclear, that's fine. Everyone else does it.

Chad: You ask about the punishment for pretending to find a body part in your food. I wouldn't recommend trying it. If you don't have any assets, you might be able to escape a lawsuit by the restaurant. But you might not escape jail, which doesn't require money.


Evan: When I first read the headline you wrote for this post, I thought it must be Wednesday and you'd finally convinced Walter Olson to be a guest writer at Notes from the (Legal) Underground.

I wouldn't describe this customer's experience as "like winning the lottery" at all.

Clarence Stowers said he bought a pint of frozen custard at the Kohl's Frozen Custard shop on Sunday and opened it at home. He saw an object in the custard and put it in his mouth, thinking it was a piece of candy, a Wilmington television station reported Monday.

"I thought it was candy because they put candy in your ice cream ... to make it a treat," Stowers told WWAY. Stowers said he spit the object out, but still couldn't identify it. He went to his kitchen, rinsed it off with water — and "just started screaming."

Only a complete cynic, like you know who, would suggest that Mr. Stowers was probably screaming, "I won. I won."


Abnu: Based on your comment, I thought about my post some more. I thought about the way that I often buy ice cream, and I thought about the way that ice-cream makers are always putting candy in it. Then I thought about biting down on a piece of finger.

Pretty gross. I decided it's possible I'd scream, and not because I'd just won the lottery.

In other words, the post was ill-considered. But hear me out. As soon as I learned about the new finger incident, I just knew I had to turn it into a headline post on this weblog. When I decide to do a headline post, it's an awful event in the Schaeffer household. I often waste hours and hours trying to come up with a joke that might work. (Try it sometime. On second thought, don't try it, since you'd probably be much better than me.)

Anyway, rather than waste hours, I decided to take the cheap and easy shot that led to the headline you've objected to. In taking the cheap shot, I admit that I may have stepped on Walter Olson's toes a bit. If so, apologize to Walter. I also apologize to all my loyal pro-lawyer readers. I'll try not to let it happen again.


(Try it sometime. On second thought, don't try it, since you'd probably be much better than me.)

I don't know about that. The approach at Wordlab is a bit different than here, of course, since our schtick there is naming and branding and creative wordplay. But you challenged me to come up with a post on this topic, appropriate for Wordlab, creatively titled.

We call it Just Stressed.


Sorry... I did get it confused with the Wendy's incident.


Sorry... I'm too quick to jump to conclusions, apparently.

Evan remained level-headed throughout the brouhaha, and taught me a lesson that I should have pointed out the error without making a personal attack. Sorry for that, Chad. I was wrong.


Abnu: This comment thread is beginning to remind me of the ABC After School Special. Would you and Chad care to join me in a round of Kumbaya?


I've always said that I'd hate to be the plaintiff in a "jackpot lawsuit," since it would probably mean I suffered something nasty - like cannibalism.

Then again, given what people will eat on "Fear Factor" for money, I wonder how many people share my aversion to being a "winning" plaintiff.

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