How to Feed a Lawyer (and Other Irreverent Observations from the Legal Underground)

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This is precisely why you should always get to know the appellate lawyers at your firm -- and fast. Whether it's an appellate brief or memorandum in support of a motion to dismiss, those guys get downright giddy about the prospect of spending 10 hours a day on two issues. They crank that stuff out in their sleep. (Sometimes before the three whiskeys have worn off, which makes for very entertaining reading.)

Now that you are filing things and taking calls and stuff, you just don't have time for that stuff. Call your appellate team. Tell them it's because their smarter or better writers -- they're suckers for that kind of BS -- and problem solved. You've got better things to do!


Alcohol is soooo not the way to take that edge off and get to sleep. Try a Benadryl or two.

Later, when the grind has gotten you well and truly depressed, you can move up to Remeron (http://www.crazymeds.org/remeron.html), which'll put you out like a light, plus make you happy as a clam to grind out memos, briefs, letters, deposition summaries or what ever else they dump on you.

Ah, it's so good to see the crushing of another young soul....

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