How to Feed a Lawyer (and Other Irreverent Observations from the Legal Underground)

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David Giacalone

Evan, I'm currently, reading Cormac McCarthy's "The Crossing", and pack mules seem a bit unreliable.

Do you think bald eagles are still appropriate? They're not much kinder than pit bulls. Now that he's been retired by the Forest Service. could a defense firm use Smokey the Bear? Nix, Smokey, wouldn't want to suggest your firm uses a hose or a shovel on anybody.

I don't know about metaphors, but we fans of onomastics can savor the fact that the author of the FBA v. Pape & Chandler is Chief Justice Barbara Pariente. When it comes to judges, she's about as paternal and parental as they get.


I'm afraid someone else got to bald eagles first.


Lions have also been taken.


There's a Michigan firm which uses a lot of Bison in its ads.... I'll leave it to others to explain what that might mean. No - on second thought, I'll throw in a gratuitous interpretation - perhaps it means "When the chips are down, you can count on us"?

(What about these guys? Would it depend upon whether their Supreme Court has a sense of humor?)

Dave Swanner

I think I've officially been a lawyer too long. I was thinking that I find pit bull offensive, but bull dog would be okay. The impression of pit bulls is that they attack and maul, but bull dogs hang on and just don't let go.

Ah well. I didn't see anyone standing up for small white fluffy terriers.


As an English major, I wasn't fooled into thinking that those Florida lawyers were really going to chew out the throats of their opponents.

Of course they wouldn't. Only Los Angeles lawyers do that.


How about a fistfull of dollars?


Sounds like some people can't take a joke. Yes, I think that those lawyers should have been more mature. But I don't think they should be disciplined. They could potentially be doing a lot of good, like helping people with actos cases or injury claims. Rather than being dealt the way they were.

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