THE STANKOWSKI REPORT #24: Should I Allow the Law Firm to Turn Me Into a Rat?

by Stan Stankowski

Consider, if you will, the following scenario:

Hateful Eighth Year Associate: Stan!!!!
Stan: What?
Hateful Eighth Year Associate: What kind of progress are you making on my brief?
Stan: What?
Hateful Eighth Year Associate: My brief Stan, it's due in two weeks!
Stan: Look, I haven’t made any progress whatsoever, we talked about this a week ago, Partner X took me off that case because he wanted me on Y. I told you that I couldn’t write your brief….
Hateful Eighth Year Associate: I don’t remember that conversation.
Stan: What?

Hateful Eighth Year Associate: I don’t remember the conversation.
Stan: How could you not remember the conversation? We talked for over an hour.  We talked about what associates had time to help you out. You made me write a memo on what needed to be done….
Hateful Eighth Year Associate: I don’t remember the conversation….Look, I need that brief in two days.  I expect it by nine in the morning.
Stan: That’s only a day and a half.
Hateful Eighth Year Associate: What?
Stan: Fine, you’ll have it.
Hateful Eighth Year Associate: All right.

Now, there are many interesting things going on here. (1) Yeah, that asshole treats me like I am ten. It will happen to you as well.  Every fifth lawyer treats you like a middle schooler. Get used to it.  (2) Obviously, the Hateful Eighth Year Associate is not concerned with anything but his own world. This is typical of the eighth year associate. They are frightened, they take it out on you.  (3) Yes, I conceded, but… well, there are worse things than conceding. Mainly, these worse things consist of being an associate and saying “No.”

Stan: Motherfucker. There is no way I am going to be able to handle all of this.
Friendly Fourth Year Associate: Handle what?
Stan: That asshole Eighth Year Associate.  We talked for over an hour last week about how I could not work on this case anymore … but here we are a week later and he wants it the day after tomorrow.
Friendly Fourth Year Associate: Dude, that blows. Bet you're glad you sent that CYA now.
Stan: The what?
Friendly Fourth Year Associate: You know, the cover your ass email. After you talked to Hateful Eighth Year Associate. You sent him an email summarizing the discussion, right?
Stan: What? Who the hell does that?
Friendly Fourth Year Associate: Everybody. You didn’t send one?
Stan: No.
Friendly Fourth Year Associate: Well, you need to. This won’t happen again if you do.
Stan: That sounds really shitty. Who the hell wants to summarize every conversation in an email?
Friendly Fourth Year Associate: People who want to keep their jobs.
Stan: That’s questionable in and of itself.
Friendly Fourth Year Associate: No shit. The CYA helps though.
Stan: yeah…        

So there is the dilemma. I hate that sort of behavior. I cannot imagine someone not hating me were I to adopt some kind of automatic defensive screen for every conversation I participated in. That is simply hideous. It automatically puts the receiver on edge. It also makes the person writing it seem like a pre-emptive rat. Each party then sits around and waits for their chance to one-up the other. Are you ten minutes late with those interrogatories? That leaves the senior associates saying things like: “Hey, your email said that we discussed turning these in now! Where are they?”  On the other hand it leaves the junior associates with an automatic out: “My email summarizing our conversation plainly stated that I had until the day after tomorrow. Would you like to go complain to partner?”        

In short, it creates hostility. Which would lead one to question why such a thing is necessary in the first place.  Which just makes one sad.

About the Author: Stan Stankowski is the pseudonym of a first-year associate working in a litigation firm somewhere in the South. For more details, read his introductory post, as well as Evan Schaeffer's introduction. The collected Stankowski Reports are here.

Comments

[Dave!]

That's not unique to law practice... I send the CYA e-mail summary for *all* meetings I have in virtually every job that I've had. They not only serve to save yer butt when you have to deal with someone who conveniently "forgets" a conversation, as your memory starts to fail you in old age, they serve as a useful personal knowledge base. ("Now *what* did I promise Bob I was going to do??!")

[Kris]

I always try to disguise mine. In this case, the memo would've had a cover letter, something like "Here's the memo you requested regarding the status of Project Y. The project for Lawyer Q, to which I've been reassigned, will take until (Date). If you would like me to work on Project Y after that time, please let me know. In the meantime, if (the other peon to whom you've assigned Project Y) has any questions about this memo, I'd be happy to assist." Not incredibly subtle, but effective. Important when dealing with rat bastards like Hateful Eighth Year Associate.

[Mike]

Stan, your post reminded me of a conversation with a former boss:

Boss: Mike, did you finish that article yet. (I was ghosting an article for her.)
Me: Ummmm, you told me to shelve the article to work on x-matter.
Boss: No, I didn't. You must have misheard me.
Me: Well, if you want me to work on the article now, that's fine. I can finish it in two days. But I don't want you to think I can't follow instructions. Please hold on a second to let me pull up the e-mail you sent me.
Boss: Oh, I don't need to see any damned e-mails! Just finish the article like I told you to in the first place!

[mythago]

Stan, if you hate being realistic, you can pretend that it's merely a device to avoid misunderstandings. Then your conversation in pretendland goes like this:

Hateful Eighth Year Associate: I don’t remember the conversation.
Stan: Let me forward you the e-mail I sent you about it afterward.
Hateful Eighth Year Associate: Oh my god! I completely forgot about that. Thanks for reminding me, Stan.

[Marcin Tustin]

Do American lawyers not have some kind of professional logbook or journal? All engineers keep one, not least these days for the purposes of CYA; English solicitors have to write "attendance notes" regarding client advice and meetings, although I don't know if the same mechanism is considered appropriate for general internal CYA notation.