An Introduction to Lawyers for Those Who Have Not Yet Had the Pleasure of Being Introduced: An Essay in Four Parts

Here is the complete "Introduction to Lawyers for Those Who Have Not Yet Had the Pleasure of Being Introduced: An Essay in Four Parts," now collected for the first time in a single post:

Part I: An Introduction to the Typical Lawyer

Part II: How to Feed a Lawyer

Part III: How to Dress a Lawyer

Part IV: Living with a Lawyer

Before you get on my case, I admit that Part IV was something of a cop out. Someday, perhaps, I'll expand it. But I'm not going to do it before Hollywood comes calling. It hasn't happened yet and, alas, it probably never will, at least not based on this introduction to the typical lawyer. But ever I keep hoping, if you know what I mean, which perhaps you do, especially if you're the typical lawyer. . .